Have you ever talked yourself into or out of something? Maybe it was somthing you really wanted or thought you needed. What was it that you talked yourself out of?
Maybe that job you wanted, or the last pair of Red pumps at your favorite store, or a car you have been eyeing, or joining a gym, how about hiring a Health Coach?
I know I have done this many times!
There are several reasons you do this to yourself! Finding your WHY is important so you can start to make changes in your thoughts that are holding you back. The feeligns below are the most common reasons:
- Fear
- Anger
- Jealousy
- Holding grudges
- Shame
When you allow these feelings to STOP you from getting what you want, you will set yourself up for failure. Failure to GROW! To CHANGE! To SUCEED! To GET WHAT YOU WANT!
If you never change the way you think you will stay STUCK right where you are. Where you have been for the last 6 months, year or even years!
Have you ever asked yourself WHY you are STUCK? What is stopping you? You may not even be aware that you are Talking Yourself Out Of Something!
Honestly, I wasn’t aware that I was talking myself out of things until someone pointed it out to me and asked why I “couldn’t just let it go”?
Let what go? I had no idea what he was talking about until I did some inner soul searching. I was putting a block up to not allow people to get close to me. This made it very difficult to hold onto friends and family. I was experiencing all 5 of the above feelings………… But, enough about me. We need to get you on the right track ASAP so you can start to move forward.
Instead of looking for the HOW (to fix/get) what you want, I want you to focus on the WHY for now. When you understand your WHY, you will be able to get help with the HOW. Without knowing WHY you think the way you do, you will continue to try every quick fix and every shortcut you can find and the end result will remain the same. STUCK.
I want to share with you how I was able to start changing the way I was thinking to allow myself the things in life that would make me happy.
You see, there are a few areas in my life that I have struggled with:
- Money: Gowing up my family didn’t have a lot of money for anything other than the necessities: food, some clothing, warm home, normal bills. I learned that you do not waste money but I didn’t really learn to save money either because there was never enough to save. When I started to work and make my own money and buy nice things I was usually embarrassed to drive it, carry/wear it for fear that others would judge me. I would buy the nice things only for them to sit in my closet, drawer, jewelry chest. The car that I dreamed of since I was a kid was one item that never brought me joy to drive because I knew people thought I was a “snob” for driving it (yep, they have said it to me). I was allowing other people’s judgment of me to HOLD ME BACK from enjoying the things that I liked.
- Friendships/relationships: This is a tough one for me. I find people I like and have things in common and become very loyal. But, I have been unable to find that same loyalty from others. Over the years I have had so many disappointments from the actions of family and friends that I have taught myself to BLOCK it out. Meaning, I walk away. I have never been the person to WORK it out only BLOCK it out. If I block it out then it didn’t happen right? It also meant that I would hold a grudge for days even years. The ONLY lasting relationship I have had is my marriage, something I have fought for day after day for >25 years!
- Self Care: I stunk at this until about 3 years ago. I was seriously there for everyone: family, friends, co-workers, strangers but I was not taking care of me. I couldn’t allow myself to do something for myself: massage, trips, date night, shop, sit and relax. In the back of my mind someone else needed me and I didn’t “have the time” for myself. If I was sitting to relax then someone was looking at the LAZY TINA. The Tina that “didn’t do enough”(yep been told that too). So I kept on taking care of and helping everyone else until I mad emyslef ill. Then I had no choice but to start thinking about ME!
I became a Health Coach for this reason! I don’t want you to wait until you HAVE NO CHOICE to get better, feel well, take care of yourself. I want you to see that you deserve it NOW!
Stop doing what I do and what so many others do that HOLD US BACK!
Go out and get what you want! But first………Find the reason WHY you have been holding yourself back in the first place. ONce you can admit to yourself that it’s your OWN mind holding you back and what specific thoughts/fears you have for not doing something you will thne and ONLY then be able to FIX those thougts and move forward to actually getting what you want and taking care of YOU!
What are your BLOCKS? I would love to hear your thoughts. Send me a message! tinaqws@gmail.com